For starters, it’s dark and humid in here. You can complain all you want about a dry heat, or mid-western humidity, or even south-eastern humidity. My friend, you don’t know humidity until you’re swimming in it. It’s sweltering in here! I have been wriggling around trying to get comfortable, and it ain’t workin’. I can’t feel any breeze whatsoever, and I don’t mind saying I get a little claustrophobic if I start thinking too much about my present situation. Oh, and thank Goodness I’m limber! I can’t seem to stretch out in this sack of a room. I’ve got feet in my face, and my arms are pressed up against me. Have you heard the expression “it’s a**holes and elbows in here”? Yeah, welcome to my world. Oh, and have I mentioned that I’m floating around in my own waste?? Sick!! I am thankful that my mom’s body seems to take care of that to a great extent. I think I overheard them wondering to each-other if I can get gas in here. Well I’m not embarrassed to say yes. I can let ‘em rip. I have even been so bold as to crack a few off in the dead of night just to see if either of my parents would hear and blame the other. So far nothing. I guess I need to crank them up a few notches. I just wish mom would help me out by either eating some good solid legumes, or by drinking some carbonated soda beverages. Throw me a bone mom! Sheesh!
Well, I guess I better sign off . I have a big day tomorrow. Would you like to see my to-do list?
- Wiggle around
- Sleep
- Get the hiccups
- Sleep
- Wiggle some more
- Sleep
- Relieve myself
- Sleep
- Wiggle a WHOLE bunch so mom calls dad over and then STOP wiggling altogether
- Sleep
- Straighten up in here (It’s getting a bit sloppy)
Until next time….
